untitled.

Three words, for today, 'smile', 'distant' and 'comfortable'.

Not all smiles are sincere. But we still put on a smile. We all have scars, but we don't wear them on our sleeves. The feeling of being distant, from someone, from the surrounding, from reality. Those awkward moments, periods of silence. Nothing can be done, nothing can be said. Having a comfort zone where one isn't able to leave, having a comfortable person to have a conversation with is probably one of the best thing in the world.

smile 

[smahyl]

verb (used without object)

1. to assume a facial expression indicating pleasur, favor, or amusement, but sometimes derision orscorn, characterized by an upturning of the corners of the mouth.
2. to regard with favor

verb (used with object)

3. to assume or give (a smile, especially of a given kind)
4. to express by a smile

noun

5. the act or an instance of smiling; a smiling expression of the face.

dis·tant [dis-tuhnt]

adjective

1. far off or apart in space; not near at hand; remote or removed
2. reserved or aloof; not familiar or cordial

com·fort·a·ble [kuhmf-tuh-buhl, kuhm-fer-tuh-buhl]

adjective
1. being in a stateof physical or mental comfort;contented and undisturbed; at ease.
2. (of a person, situation, etc.) roducing mental comfort or ease; easy to accomodate oneself to orassociate with
3. Obsolete, cheerful

Sun-date with the computer and the bed. Pratically spent my entire day staring at the screen after being back from a swim. Its been exactly a month since I've been on Tumblr, so I spent quality time there. Honestly, a person's tumblr reflects the kind of person they are. Their characters, their likes, their wants, their inspirations, almost everything. They say that people keep things within themselves but I don't think that's true. There's definitely a place where they confide to, a friend, a diary, a site. To truly understand a person, don't just judge them on how they present themselves, because what's on the surface might not be everything and there are definitely plenty of reasons as to how a person present themselves now.

Ah, did I mention I'm born in december? its shown in my profile. young girl, no? hehehe. 

• DECEMBER BABY

This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible… Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.

This has been me recently.

 

 

And recently, after I've gotten closer with real literal human, I beginning to feel the anxiety and afraid of the real world. For too long, I've been hiding in my world, the world which allowed to breathe. But now, I'm actually scared, that things might go wrong, that things might end up ruining me once again.

 

I'm telling you a secret now, its just within us. I actually miss the person who once came for me, who once stood over me, and shelter me from the harsh society.

"I didn’t want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that’s really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you’re so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare."