05-03-2014, my very first time donating blood in 18 years. Omg yayyyyyyy I saved 3 lives. So Sabrina jio me to donate blood together with Jiahui and Sixuan but due to various reasons, I ended up being the only one donating but luckily, they waited for me. Have to agree that I was quite scared because of what happened to my friend last year. I scared because of the overwhelming amount of fats in me then something goes wrong when I donating blood. Eh hello, I'm not the typical kind that is scared of needles okay, I'm completely fine with injections. And I got to know that my iron level is 15.1, not sure if its good or bad but typical cecilia being auntie at the end of the donation, because we get a bandage and I requested for a yellow one when the nurse almost gave me the pink one. Pink? Hell no way man. But overall, to those who are "scared" of injections, its way less painful than you think it is, it is less painful than pricking a needle at your finger! Went to study for a bit before we went for sushi buffet at scape's sakae sushi. Forgetting that I just had an injection, had seafood, which obviously causes itch the next day. Oh damn. And guess what, about almost a week after, I suddenly got a bruise, woah, my fats blocking up the passageway of the blood now? *okay I've been bullshitting way to much here*
10-03-2014, received MT results, woohoo I passed, no more chinese for the rest of my life. Short meetup with part of OG4 and Tricia. Okay, more like we met just to take a polaroid >< Anyway, still can't wait to have a real meetup with them soon but they are all so busy.
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What's done has been done. Sometimes I feel like a failure. You know the moments when you forget your friends' birthday, or you don't even know their birthday, its like, what kind of friend are you. And then, the moments when you realised how you tell them you will always be there for them in your birthday wishes to them but you fail to take notice of how they feel and what is going on in their lives. Even if they didn't update you, even if they didn't get the chance to tell you, you didn't bother asking, you didn't bother to give sincere replies. Even though you had nothing else really important going on in your life, but you are just lagging behind on everything. The late wishes, the late concerns, its like you didn't even put in any effort for your friends, then what are you, why are you so superficial. And then, the moments when you have many different groups of friends and you can't manage your time well enough so that you can spend time with all. Its got nothing to do with being all "popular" or not, but seriously, learn to priorities your shit and know who you should hang around with, who you should be true to. You know how you hang out with one group, and your other group of friends tease you about "abandoning" them, and when the situation changed, you still get the same treatment. But then again, if you look closely enough, you realise actually one group do completely fine without you, and the other group don't eveen seem to remember you anymore. Now, what are you again, just hanging around here and there. You want to be loved but then you think its unnecessary, you think that its too much of a burden, you are not prepared for it, you have more important things, like friendship. And things swing back and hit you hard, who are your friends in this thing you called friendship.
Sometimes i want to give up, but most of the times i just want to feel appreciated.
From someone else's twitter:
"Why do we always want what we can't have?" "At least I know what I want.. What you want cannot exist."
